By Mackenzie Kae
Psalm For The Future
By Mackenzie Kae
sometimes i dream about
smashing computers with
lacquered wooden bats.
the feel of the wood between
my hands as i swing
down with all my rage.
as i smite thee!
smite! smite! smite!
i dream a lot about
telling the truth, always have.
sometimes i seize a sliver
of a second to stop lying.
never ends well so i
start laughing.
oh god, you thought-
thought i was serious?
i dream about having any
goddamn thing to say at all.
you know, things that matter?
things that keep your
parents and partners eyes
from glazing over like 4am
at bakeries and at brothels.
you gotta bleed for that
but i only bleed into the sheets,
only bleed to blocked numbers.
this is my sob story,
this is my ameri-tragedy.
you can take it when you
kill me or cut me a check.
show me the money!
sell out!
don’t be stupid, stupid,
it’s either sell out
or pass down the
generational poverty.
i never lost me so
i could never find me.
no, i did find me –
i was high watching selma,
i was high watching trailer park boys,
i was high watching cartoons
in beige-walled rooms.
someone wanted to touch me
so i bit off their hand
and shook it like a dog.
let me holler like a hit dog –
i mean, let me sing the truth,
the truth:
you are the only reason
i wake up in the morning.
you are the only reason,
i want to find myself again.
if my eyes ever glaze over,
i hope you pull my heart
out my chest.
i hope you can see it
for what it really is –
a lacquered wooden bat.
i hope you smash
the goddamn world to bits
and the fires smell like home.